I believe that Dave came to find some faith, or re-discover his faith, in the community of the church where he worked. I want to honor that, but I admit I don't understand it, and the only comfort it gives me is that Dave's belief helped him. I don't believe in a god, or a heaven, or any life after this one. This is it. Dave's death is final. I'll never see him again.

October 1994:

grace

I'm not a holy man.
there are no gods.
the dead speak to us
only through their works.

sadness weighs her heavy lids.
though portrayed as another,
she is of this world.
shaped by your hands,
her lifeless face holds your grief.

loss beyond comprehension.
time only to bury, or burn -
the next wave overtakes you.

from your hunger to understand,
you carve icons of your faith.
out of numbing pain,
you create meaning where there is none.

is it such mystery,
that you would know how I felt?